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Ask The Barman

Zane, Fancaps Barman

Ask Zane The Barman

I'm Zane, Fancaps Barman. If I can add my two bobs in and save you the hassle of pain, embarrassment, lengthy cold showers to extinguish your facial fire and to eliminate a trip to the surgeon for a new face, then my job is done. Helping you with some tips n tricks I've found that actually work.

About Zane
Zane joins Fancaps from pulling your favourite coldy and listening to your problems. He's heard it, customers have given him his life stories and he is as sharp in the grooming department, than a Baccarat kitchen knife.

So if you've got a question that you want another perspective on, Zane certainly will add his thoughts. Ask him anything from grooming, relationships, sex, cold beers and anything else.

Questions Raised By You  |  Ask A Question click here


Sensitive Shave Issues And Flair Ups

Q - Zane, for year's I've been using men's aftershave lotion and cream which leaves my neck on fire for days. Got any tips brother?

A - Champ, good question, you're not alone mate, I had these issues years ago. I would shave, dab some cold water on my face and neck to then be in the same position of burning for days. Grab yourself a Gillette Skinguard Sensitive Razor with Gillette's Pure Soothing Shave Cream With Aloe and give that a crack. Follow this up with Lab Series Razor Burn Relief Ultra Lotion. You won't need much of the lotion, around a 5 cent piece will go far.  It cools your skin and stops the burn. We have some products you might enjoy to make that routine a pleasure click here 

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Downward The River Nile and Swamp Ass

Q - Zane, when I get up from sitting on a chair I leave behind a wet patch. I don't smell down there but I dread getting up when in company to avoid embarrassment. Can you help?

- You can put on all the fancy fluffy, smelly and expensive products, to be in the same position 2 hrs later. What your experiencing is known as Swamp Ass. Your a hot bloke that needs cooling and a little ventilation. For this my friend, head to the boys over at Chassis and grab some Chassis Premium Body Powder. It will keep you dry, moist free and leave you smelling fresh. It's talc and aluminium free, so it won't give the man hood a disruption in the jungle. When you next sit on the chair, patches my friend will be a thing of the past.

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Good Razor Blades vs a Lawnmower

Q - Zane, shaving these days with many razors and blades, cuts my face up. Any tips?

A - If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard this, I would be sailing far away from here in the Bahamas with the coldest beer and the finest cigars. Some blades will leave you looking like you've had a run in with either freddie kruger or a lawnmower. Grab yourself a Gillette Skinguard Sensitive Razor. It's the only razor I can trust to deliver results. You need a sharp blade like a samurai sword. Something that's going to cut what you purchased it for, to shave your facial hair, not shave your face off. After all it's your face, so look after it champ!

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Hedging and Maintaining Your Intimates

Q - Zane, I'm trying to find a razor for my intimates?

A - When it comes to shaving the hedge down there, this one is simple! Do not use cheap blades or a standard electric shaver or those fancy shavers that claim to be for the intimate area. They actually pull against your hair rather than cutting. We've all been there and it hurts. Grab yourself a ladies Gillette Venus Sensitive Razor, because it's a sensitive area and if it's good enough for the ladies veggie patch, it's my first choice! Also try using Manscaped The Lawnmower 2.0 . This has awesome reviews and I would love to get my hands on this myself. Finish off with Lab Series Razor Burn Relief lotion.  

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Shes All Trimmed Down South, Should I Come To The Party and Go Bare

Q - Zane, My man won't shave down in his groin and it's off putting when we have sex, how can I approach this?

A - Chelsea, boy am I glad to hear from you. Tell him this, which should do the trick. If your well presented down there and looking like a debarked karri tree, you expect the same and that if he can't be bothered in grooming down there, its not on for the night. Why should you go to the effort in making sure your hedge looks like it should be at the London Garden Show, when he doesn't bother. I've also noticed that when both off you are bare as a peeled coconut, you both are more sensitive to pleasure down in the newly cleared jungle. So promote this Chelsea and I'm pretty confident you'l be both very active in the bedroom and creating your jungle calls.

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Chop Of The Crown Jewels, Thoughts On A Vasectomy

Q - Zane, my wife is asking for me to get the ol chop, do you know if it hurts?

A - So men are petrified of this and believe it's going to hurt like being kicked in the nuts. In my opinion the procedure, a Vasectomy is invasive. It might tickle when the Lignocaine or Anesthetic goes in, but once that kicks in, you wont feel a thing mate. After procedure is done and the anesthetic wears off, you might feel some discomfort. Make sure you get a script for good pain relief. I wore tight boxers, tighter the better. When you go to bed, put a pillow in between your legs and leave the dressing on. People say they went back to work the next day, yeah right! Take a few days off champ, rest up. In a nutshell you'l be appreciative to get the chop, not only may you win with earning more respect from your wife, but you'l be rewarded when it comes to the bedroom, you both will feel more because the standing tall tree won't have a raincoat! It's a win for all. But listen to your Dr alright champ and his directions.

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What Moisturisers Work Today and Get Our Thumbs Up

Q - I've been using mens face care products and the two leading brands just burn my eyes when applied to my face, Please Help!

A - I've had the same issues champ. I've used both of those brands and was tired of squinting due to eye irritation and drowning my eyes with cold water, until I stumbled on Bulldog Skincare products.  There products are the best without having to fork out big wads of cash to buy them like some major brands. Have no idea what's in their gear but its superior, Bulldog Skincare leaves your skin hydrated and fresh. They get our thumbs up and 5 stars. To check out Bulldog Skincare range, click here


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Disclaimer -
Fancaps and Zane must inform you that this is not advice, its not professional advice, its not medical advice nor mental health advice. It's a little thought on what has worked for Zane and from listening to others. Zane and Fancaps are not asking you to do this and we are not recommending that the above will work for you. But we can say, give it a go, you might be surprised on the results you get. If you practice or carry out any of the above, you do at your own risk. We cannot be responsible for damages or injuries since this is not paid advice or are we providing a service on information.

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